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Call it Dr. Ctheuss, maybe? Chaosium has released a retelling of Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness, more eldritch than green eggs or ham.

Would you, could you by the wan moonlight? Would you, could you if the stars were right? Who knew that poetry and Cthulhu go together so well? Chaosium!

Even Lovecraft must have had some poetical inclinations, after all: “That is not dead eternal can lie, and with strange aeons, even death may die.” Sure, the rhyme scheme needs a little work. But the core is there. And now you can see for yourself. With a whimsical retelling of At the Mountains of Madness for Beginning Readers, available just in time for the stars to be right (December 25th).

Whether Your Belly Is Starred Or Your Face Is Tentacled, Chaosium’s New At The Mountains Of Madness For Beginning Readers

At the Mountains Of Madness for Beginning Readers is a Seussical retelling of the classic Lovecraft story. Reimagined by “genius poet-artist R.J. Ivankovic,” the story is in rhyming verse. Anapestic tetrameter, for you poetry nerds out there, so it matches the scansion of a Seuss poem. And on each page you’ll find all the grim, cosmic horros of Lovecraft’s mythos, lovingly rendered in “beautiful child-friendly and whimsical art”. At last, a Cthulhu is suitable for all ages.

He’d recovered fourteen Of the strange “Elder Things”

With their barrel-shaped bodies And membranous wings!

They had starfish-shaped heads And triangular feet,

And they’d slowly thawed out When exposed to heat!”

– At the Mountains of Madness for Beginning Readers

It’s on sale now at DriveThruRPG and Chaosium’s webstore. So, if you’re looking for a cosmic horror Christmas, this is your chance! Warp a young mind forevermore with an eldritch horror in brightly colored drawings.

Still not as terrifying or sad or maddening as The Lorax. Which, dang man. Unless. Unless.

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