Four D&D Tips from Star Trek TNG’s 14th Worst Episode – TNG Cost of Living

Four D&D Tips from Star Trek TNG’s 14th Worst Episode

The episode originally aired on April 20th, 1992, and has an IMDb rating of 6.1. It is entitled “Cost of Living.” Worf and Alexander’s relationship struggles, Mrs. Troi returns wanting to get married on the Enterprise, and metal parasites turn computers to goo. Despite its flaws, the episode won two Emmy Awards for costumes and makeup.

I hated this episode when it first aired. I didn’t hate it this time around, but man, it’s empty and confused. So here goes:

Dungeon Master Tip Number One: Fairs and Festivals

Lwaxana takes Alexander to the holodeck to experience a Parallax Colony, which is kind of like a 24th-century Burning Man where people are free to express themselves and take nude mud baths. However, the colony lacks any energy, only a few people are there, and watching them take mud baths is about as exciting as watching paint dry. But don’t despair, my dear dungeon masters—we can put fairs and festivals in our D&D games and make them fun! Part of the excitement of a fair is the crowd—hundreds or thousands of people and activities happening all at once. Visitors’ attention is pulled in every direction. Remember that energy when introducing a festival into your D&D campaign. I’ve also created a book of random tables to help you create fairs and festivals.

Dungeon Master Tip Number Two: Metal Parasites

Four D&D Tips from Star Trek TNG's 14th Worst Episode

Strangely, glitter invades the Enterprise—and I say strangely because this time, it’s not a light ball. The glitter is actually a cloud of metal parasites. They infest the ship and begin turning it to goo, which is apparently their poop. This B plot never connects to the main story at all, except that Mrs. Troi sees them once while on the holodeck. Now, back to D&D: DMs could use metal parasites as a blight affecting a kingdom. Or, if you want to terrorize players who run martial characters, just bring back the dreaded Rust Monster.

Dungeon Master Tip Number Three: Start with Action

This episode starts off with intense action—Picard and crew are trying to stop an asteroid from destroying a planet. Sadly, it’s done poorly. No context is given, so no stakes are established. We don’t know how many people live on the planet. We don’t see frantic communications from the people on the planet letting us know they are all going to die. And worse? We’ve seen it before in “Deja Q.” Picard is given some pretty heavy science dialogue, reflecting how Sir Patrick wanted the show to focus more on Picard in the later seasons. However, we can start with action in a D&D campaign and hook our players from the beginning. I made a video on how you can start sessions with action. Just remember it needs context. As DMs, we fill in the details so the players know the action means something.

Dungeon Master Tip Number Four: Foolish Decisions

Lwaxana is going to marry a man she’s never met because she feels old and alone. It becomes clear that she and her husband-to-be are not compatible in the slightest. She is on the verge of making a terrible decision. If dungeon masters are looking for non-combat encounters, we can always introduce an NPC who is about to make an awful decision. Players then have the option to help the NPC understand that what they are doing will not go well. Situations that create instant drama are the best for these. Marriage, as in the episode, is one example, but also consider a child running away from home, a ruler considering a death sentence, and so on. Star Trek Note: This episode contains a telepath and an empath, but there is no mention of Lwaxana or Deanna using their abilities. Also, Geordi could have used his visor to help locate the parasites, but it wasn’t used either.